I haven’t ridden a bike in over a decade at least. I was reminded of the pleasures of riding while speaking to a friend these past couple days. I got a twinge in my belly, a longing as he spoke.
As my surgery comes closer and closer, I continually add items to my list of “I Can’t Wait To ____.” In some cases it is something I can’t wait to do AGAIN. In others it is an activity I’ve NEVER been able to do AT ALL or comfortably.
When I was little, I rode my bike everwhere. A pink Schwinn with flowers on the banana seat. It was completely decked out with a basket on the front to hold my treasures, horn, and pink and white tassels that flowed in the breeze!
This is the bike…just picture the tassels and the horn!
I was taught to ride a two-wheeler by my next door neighbor, Brad. He had already taught his sons how to ride. He knew I didn’t have someone to teach me, so he took to the task. We went to Clary Middle School’s parking lot. It is HUGE. A perfect place to teach a kid to ride a bike (in case you’re looking for an ideal spot).
I rode my bike there with the training wheels on. When we got there, Brad took them ceremoniously off and I hopped on!
Brad jogged behind me, holding onto the handle in the back.
“Don’t let go!”, I’d beg him everytime I turned my head.
This was before bicycle helmets (and I lived through it!). I nervously looked behind me every couple seconds.
“I won’t”, he’d reply, and kept jogging. His sons, my childhood friends Kerry and Greg, cheered me on as they circled around us on their mountain bikes.
After a couple hours of this (such a patient man), I did my customary turn of the head to remind him not to let go.
He wasn’t holding on!
A quick intake of breathe and I grabbed my handles with stern concentration. The bike jiggled as my balance faltered for a second. I steadied and my panic began to subside.
And I rode!
And I didn’t fall!
And gradually I began to enjoy the feeling of controlling my destiny on my pink Schwinn with the flower-studded banana seat.
I had this and it felt amazing! Kerry and Greg shouted, “You did it, you did it!” And Brad jogged beside me smiling. We rode all over Clary’s parking lot until the sun set. I do remember eventually falling a couple times, but that it didn’t diminish my excitement.
That was a great day. An absolutely GREAT day.
It has occurred to me while writing this post that my extra weight, my belly in particular, have been my “training wheels” for so very long. It has been my way of not completely controlling my destiny. Always something in the way. Always the reason people didn’t like me. A way for me to halt life and say, “not yet, when I lose the weight.” So much of my life has been dictated by my being overweight that I don’t really know anything else.
A new chapter is beginning. My training wheels are coming off (so to speak)! As much as I instinctively want to sit here and lament about not doing this sooner, I know that right now is and always has been the right time. My life has followed a progression that has led me here. I have no regrets.
Thinking about this now has made my breathe catch as I think about my first ride on a bike with my “other” training wheels off. I imagine my voice saying loudly, in my head or maybe I’ll scream it, “I did it, I did it!!” My little Abby inside will be soooo happy.
Now we both…can’t…wait…
